By Jerr Rrej,
Before we go into discussion on why men should not cry, let us first discuss what crying means. When we cry, we are overwhelmed by emotion which causes us to breakdown in tears. The key words are overwhelming/breakdown (Loss of control)
In the beginning, a baby cries to signal to his mother that he wants her attention. It is a signal of distress. But the core thing we must realize about infant crying is that the infants are incapable of taking care of themselves which causes them to rely on this distress signal.
What makes a man cry? It is when he feels deep anxiety and doubt over a feeling. This anxiety and doubt get relief by expressing itself. To express doubt and anxiety is to display vulnerability. It is an act of behaviorism that allows others to see our doubt and anxiety.
What is a common thing for females to encourage in males? For them to be “Open and vulnerable” Why? Because if a man is showcasing anxiety and fear; this allows them woman to assume authority while he is incapacitated in his fear state. Remember, females are designed as helpers.
But what a man must realize is that there are good reasons not to cry in front of others and even to control our crying in private. And once a man understands what crying means and what effect it has on him, he will understand an agenda against men.
A leader who frequently cries in front of his followers is showcasing his own internal struggle (Doubt, fear and anxiety) And who wants to follow a doubt filled leader who is anxious and afraid? See? This is why leaders display bravery. It reassures anxiety in their followers.
But more insidious is what a habit of crying does to a man. The more a man cries the more he will feel the need to cry. It is a self-conditioning behavior that trains us to see crying as a solution to the anxiety we feel. Our mind remembers the short-term relief as easy solution.
The Wall Speaks book is about masculine frame, it teaches how to live with one woman. Frame is not about promiscuity.
This is why a man who falls into a habit of crying will find himself beginning to cry more often. Our brain is telling us to get that short term relief from crying to ease the anxious feelings within. It is a short cut to solving the inner fear. Crying creates more crying.
When a man indulges in alcohol, he will notice that he will be more apt to cry. Why? Because he not only has drunk a depressant but also has lowered his inhibitions. This will make him let down his self-control for easy indulgence.
Let us go deeper. All emotional expressions fuel emotions within and fuel dependency on those expressions. When a man cries, he is validating the emotions within as truth, and he could possibly be building an emotional dependency on others when crying before them. (Comfort seek)
The core principle of masculine frame is that we strengthen our internal fortitude the more we control our expressions. How much strength does it take to hold back a laugh or a tear? Control of emotion is like a muscle that needs training.
Men who cry all the time are men who have let their muscles atrophy. Why? Because they do not feel shame for expressing their emotions which causes them to continue in anxious behaviorism. They keep expressing anxiety which fuels their anxiety. Self-growing loop of fear.
This is why a man should view crying as shameful alone and especially in public. Crying dissolves our masculine frames. It makes us weaker and makes us more emotional. And crying in public showcases anxiety which strips us of authority.
Let us keep going deeper. A female is designed to cry because emotionalism helps her be a better nurturer when nesting with children. Her hormone flux causes her to feel irrational in emotion which compels her to seek out comfort in her social group.
Talk/expression is how females help each other in emotional regulation. They “Open themselves up” in expression to allow others to validate them. This allows them to align themselves in groupthink to ease their own individual anxieties.
Masculine men will encourage boys not to cry because we are lovingly protecting them from inciting their emotionalism and protecting their projection of authority. Sound cruel? Of course not. Men are compassionate in long term as opposed to females who are compassionate in short
This is why it crucial for you to hold back the tears. Do not influence yourself with emotional propaganda in music and movies. Do not moralize crying as “Brave” like modern men. To cry in front of others is irresponsible. Stay strong. Stay frame. Stay cold.
Help pass the message along. We are reawakening masculinity.
Jerr Rrej is the author of The Wall Speaks.
The Wall Speaks is an easy to read guide on learning masculine frame.