By Jerr Rrej
What does it mean to break a heart? It means to trample on what has been given in vulnerability and to betray a sacred trust. A heart breaks from multiple reasons but the main causes are emotional sensitivity and emotional dependency.
A little about me. I married my first kiss. My naivety was guarded by her shared naivety. It was a protection against any ache for experience in my spirit. We were both inexperienced and loyal. In a way this was God’s protection.
When she came home one day and told me she cheated on. It was the one person I knew. The only person that I had kissed. This was not only a deep betrayal to our marriage but was a deep emasculation to my sexual inexperience.
On top of all that. I was in the feminine frame of authority and viewed women as moral authority. My dominant mother, my dominant sisters had only portrayed loyalty and this caused me spin into a madness.
There earth swallowed me up whole and I felt alone in a void of pain. It felt as if a thousand needles were stabbing into my every pore. I cried like a baby for months on end and soaked my pillow nightly. There was only chaos and pain. Total death of my spirit and deepest beliefs
But from that void meaning was found. That level of vulnerability and trust had been a lesson. A deep and painful lesson. I knew her disloyalty was my fault. And the floodgates of meaning came to me. A woman is only loyal to strong frame. Not friendship and not romance.
The Wall Speaks book is about masculine frame, it teaches how to live with one woman. Frame is not about promiscuity.
Ekoroi
Strong frame is like the weight of gravity that keeps a woman in orbit. And when a man’s frame weakens so does that gravity that surrounds him. And along with this, I also began to understand how emotional dependency was not only immature but cruel to women.
A woman needs an emotionally strong man and a man who emotionally depends on his woman becomes like a boy to a mother. And this creates a lost feeling in a woman as she does not have strength to orbit. It is as if she is sent flying off into chaos.
It is a man’s responsibility to remain about emotional weakness so that his woman can feel safe with her emotional weakness. That is why women are attracted to men who seem detached from emotion altogether (Jerk, bad boys, psychopaths)
These types of men reassure a woman’s innate emotional vulnerability. Prior to being cheated on, I had become soft. I had become overly communicative and emotional in my approach to my woman. This caused her to feel lost as she no longer had a cold man to center.
A woman does not want a friend. A woman does not want an emotionally fueled romantic partner. She wants a calm, emotionally centered, rational leader. Someone who is not easily controlled by emotion from within himself and outside. A rational anchor against the storms of emotion.
Are you battling the pain of a broken heart? Realize that you are not alone. Many men have had to deal with that pain and emasculation. Rebuild yourself into a spirit of dignity with strong frame. Do not moralize emotion like a woman. Moralize rationality like a man.
Practice frame which lowers emotion and creates a deep pool of gravity to keep a woman in orbit. Keep learning and practicing frame and this will protect you from the pain of cuckoldry. We are in this together. Become strong and proud. And your woman will reward you for it.
Jerr Rrej is the author of The Wall Speaks.
The Wall Speaks is an easy to read guide on learning masculine frame.
