By Jerr Rrej
Before we go into discussion on male confession to a woman, we must discuss what guilt means. A man with a guilty conscience is a man in doubt of how his behavior is aligning with his identity. And now just how he perceives himself but how those in authority perceive him.
Guilt under authority makes a person doubt themself. And what is the authority? It is whatever a man deems as moral authority above. It can be nation, tribe, church or any group where shame would make an individual doubt himself.
For example, a woman who is a vegan who only hangs around vegan friends will feel tremendous guilt if she one night ate some bacon. That is an uneasy feeling of disconnect from her actions and identity. Also, a feel of group shame would overwhelm her. What would her group think?
Does she need to confess her bacon eating behavior to relieve herself of guilt? Many women would feel that they do. “Okay girls. I need to tell you something. Last night, I ate bacon. I feel so bad” And her group would either ease her conscience or shame her.
The previous situation is common with women and unframed men. They feel uneasy about the disconnect between behavior and group expectation which compels them to reveal themselves for a reassurance of the uneasy feeling of personality alienation.
Did the bacon eating Vegan woman need to confess herself to her friends? No. She could have just said “Eating bacon was wrong to my belief. I will not do that again” And she could have moved on. But women rely on external validation for emotional centering through confession.
We only confess to relieve uneasy emotion and for validation of authority above us. Now with that being said, let us go into why men should not confess to their women. A man is authority over his woman. This is frame. This belief system places a man above woman.
The Wall Speaks book is about masculine frame, it teaches how to live with one woman. Frame is not about promiscuity. – Ekoroi
Does God confess to man? No. Why? Because God is above man just as man is above woman. Does a CEO confess to a janitor? No. The CEO does not need to reveal his every mistake to those below him in the corporate hierarchy.
When a man confesses to a woman what he is doing is lifting her up as moral authority over him. Does that sound like frame? Does that even sound moral to religious scripture. No. A woman is never moral authority above man. A man has himself as authority and God above.
“But Jerr, what if a man cheats?”
Learn a lesson. Confess to God if you need and move on. Saying a man needs to confess one single thing is to destroy the logic of frame/moral authority. A man does not need to confess himself over one thing to a woman.
A woman may try to guilt a man into breaking frame by confession. Remember, women test men through shame tactics to see if men shrug their frame. It is her nature. Just remember that to be above something is to be able to ignore something.
Do not lie to a woman. But also tell her you do not believe in “Male confession” – But a woman must confess herself to her man as this is both with frame and God. Follower confesses to leader. Below to above. This is the proper way. This is frame.
Jerr Rrej is the author of The Wall Speaks.
The Wall Speaks is an easy to read guide on learning masculine frame.