By Cynthia Lel (submitted to contact@ekoroi.com)
As we strolled down the dusty road, one of my critics asked what heading was I planning to give to this blog. I had no idea and I told her so. My response prompted her to give me her thought.” Call it ‘The ritual of healing!’ As if she was waiting for the perfect moment, she whispered. I was curious to know why,” Healing is a repeated set of actions and sometimes, a personal and habitual custom.” This made healing look so diverse; from spiritual to health to physical and emotional healing. Why not? This is the ritual healing of emotional health.
There is no need to circumvent the journey at hand or ahead, the growth uncocooned, the change in progress, the path you are taking, the storm, the wind slapping your ears or a heavy gust of it sending dust to your eyes and the twists and turns. Undoubtedly, you will always find your way home. So take that shower of your choice, soak and scrub that lovable body with salt and sugar, a commercial product you love or better still, drop by the spa. Cleanse your body heart and spirit. What was, is not what is. What used to be, is no longer yours or worth to keep or hold. So watch it fearlessly, watch it as it dances away, watch it twirl down the abyss, down to the next or none. Watch it crawl away freely as if it was never yours. Watch it wave and wave back. Watch it with a clean heart because it too, will find its way home.
Bianca Sparacino, in her book explains love and healing in such a vivid way. He says ” Love is your childhood home. Your favorite part of the couch, the same chair at the kitchen table. Love is your worn in sweater, the way it smells after you hang it to dry in the garden. Love is the creak in the stairs, the hook in the entryway that you always hang your coat on. But leaving makes a mess of it all; it rearranges things. Suddenly, the couch is different and your favorite chair broken. Your worn in sweater is torn and the clothing lines in the backyard have been blown down by wind. Suddenly, the stairs are quiet in the night, the hook is on the other side of the room. Healing forces you to move. Forces you to buy a different couch, forces you to replace the chair. Healing stitches together your worn in sweater. Patches it with new fabric pieces of another story. Healing forces you to embrace the silence in the steps, the fact that you have to hang your coat in a different place from now on. Healing forces you to change. To leave behind the familiar. To rebuild.”
To write means to be honest. It means to speak your mind. To write means to pour out, to expose your deepest thoughts, truths, passion, anxiety, fear and tears. Just spill your soul away, you don’t need to make sense. You owe no one that. Well, you might wake up to them everywhere. They are gone and you are now alone here by yourself. With your teddy, videogames, favorite music or water bottle. Brush them off your hair, cough them out of your lungs and wash them away. Sometimes, water takes refuge in places it cannot flow. It becomes stagnant when it really needs to be free. It sometimes inconveniences the environmental surrounding, but when it collects in one place, a water body is formed. A beautiful scenery. When our eyes overflow, God will send water over the edge of your heart and create falling glory.
Even at your best, you will never be good enough for someone who doesn’t have the capacity, ability or will to love you. It doesn’t matter for even at your worst, the person right for you will still choose you. You are your own ruler, you reign darling, you are your own home.
Your instincts want to collapse and fall into you, not backfire or skeptically but headfirst without fear. How do you break into pieces for those who don’t care? Who refuse to help? Who seem to ignore your existence? Who only want to benefit and take advantage of your kindness, patience and goodness? How do you break into pieces for someone who don’t see or ignite the spark in you? How dare you break down for someone who would not even think of putting you back time to time? Who wants their happiness to be your responsibility? Brush off that dust. Drop that luggage off and leave it by the deserted roadside. Letting go is a choice and it will not look back.
Congratulations on waking up today, courage is in the little things. I hope you have the courage to grow, change and do things differently because you are different. To step back and seek out the kind of things that ignite passion, excitement and contentment within yourself. Above all, I hope you have the courage to forgive yourself for all the times you did not have the courage to believe that you deserve more than the kind of life you were settling for.
Finally, healing mostly happens in the quietest moments. One day, you will wake up and really connect with the fact that you are happy to have opened your eyes.
