Out of drunkenness and carousing into church and worship,
My soul flipped through much worries and cares seeking solace.
Then finding peace only at the thought of the church.
I sit silent, sulken and sullen,
Fighting the thoughts of yester night and day
I cheat myself always already knowing;
This is the best way to beat guilt.
The church chorister; song 22, 41.
‘Pass me not’
Then Holy Spirit, faithful guide’
I search my soul and find comfort in those words.
Then I imagine;
Due to trouble am on my way home
In my bed I sleep, very ill.
I decline medication and declare to my people;
‘Leave me alone, my chance to have what I’ve been wishing is here.
Let me die’
A few hours later,
Both silence and happiness abound.
A middle height boy, wearing a T-shirt and a faded-brown jean is being carried out;
Then I’m in the church contemplating.
So I write these things.
23rd November, 2006