Happiness is an expensive emotion in an increasingly sad and conflicted world.
But, what the authors of The Happy Mind – A Simple Guide to Living a Haier Life Starting Today, remind us; happiness is not an external phenomenon that crosses your path and changes your life for the better.
We’ve become consumerist beings who seek validation rather than internal peace and contentment.
It is not our fault; but maybe it is.
We are hooked to the TV shows, celebrity culture and other things that we are externally taught, provides happiness.
But most of these external happiness enablers are tied to financial gain.
The Authors say, this obsession with economic happiness often leads people to indulge in fairly irrational behaviour. Many for instance become terminal overspenders and forever buckle under an excessive debt burden – actually impoverishing themselves in an effort to feel and look rich!
I am not saying that money is bad, but we are reminded in this book, about the value of happiness.
Money is valuable, yes. But happiness is not in what’s not here now.
Happiness is also not about an imaginary future, it is about the here now. Breathe and be thankful for now. Some other people also stick in the past, thinking about a time, they now imagine was the happiest of their lives.
This is also not the answer.
The worst thinking in this is the extension of imagining life past here now. You have a life here on earth now and that is what matters. Embracing a religious view of life being happy/good after death is not bad. But this should not deny you happiness now.
Happiness does not happen because of other people. Excessive reliance on friends and family is counterproductive as one will come off as clingy and will be avoided.
Kevin Horsley and Louis Fourie summarize that the fundamental flaw in searching for happiness ‘out there’ lies in confusing pleasure for happiness
The authors share nine common traits of happy people, gotten from their research. Apart from the common optimistic outlook at life and thinking in a different way. I loved these two: that happy people enjoy simple things and happy people own up to their future.
The ingredients of unhappiness are also shared in the book, one is ‘one going through life desiring something else. The authors describe it as a lasting state of discontentment.
There are 10 unhappiness traps that are shared in this amazing book on wellness.
Why would one torture themselves with the past, or the future or even worry?
For me, I always say that life ends at death, which is a must. My happiness often comes from not comparing myself to any of my successful friends. I’m just are. I know the limits of my ability and execute dreams that I feel won’t expose me to much that is outside my personality. I live now.
“Choice is the father of freedom, as following through with action is the mother of permanent progress”, the authors conclude.
Featured Image by Best Book Monkey