By Jerr Rrej
There are many reasons why a woman can lose respect for a man in a relationship and once she does the relationship dies. The reason boils down to lack of trust in the man’s frame. This thread will go into detail on why this happens and what a man can do about it.
Masculine frame is a presentation of strength that inspires submission and earns respect. This disciplined behaviorism is what calms a woman into contented submission. It is a projection of authority by the man which keeps a relationship strong.
But what if a man picks up frame while in a relationship with a woman or what if a man drops frame in a relationship? This thread will breakdown the psychological repressions of these both.
One of the best examples of the psychology of frame is displayed by the wizard in The Wizard of Oz. He presents himself as this grand authority with smoke, fire and holographic display. Then Toto the dog pulls back a curtain revealing him to be nothing more than a nervous old man.
This revelation of his truth self being much weaker than his projection causes Dorothy and her friends to become emboldened in confidence against his true form. Frame is a projection of authority and to be unframed is to pull back the curtain which allows dispels trust.
Now let us breakdown the two scenarios of either starting a relationship unframed or losing frame inside a relationship. It is as if we show a woman “The man behind the curtain” and expect her to believe the projection of power after that fact.
Let us breakdown why women want men to “Just be themselves” and to “Be vulnerable and open up” A woman must be certain that her leader is strong so that she can ease her anxiety. She is reassured by strength and is further reassured by testing that strength.
A man can win poker games without having the strongest hand. The same is true with succeeding in romance and life. We can hold doubt, fear and anxiety but hide that from others so that they can believe in the confidence we project. Being a leader means to reassure followers.
But what if a man shows his cards in poker? He loses the advantage of mystery same as The Wizard of Oz. It is the mystery that is equal if not more important than the truth itself. Because the only thing that matters is the end result just as in poker.
When a man begins a relationship with a woman while being unframed is like a man showing his cards before a bluff. This is why the initial frame we set with women is extremely important. A woman will remember the truth of a man’s weakness even when he changes.
The same for when a man drops frame in a relationship. It is as if a man jumps out from behind the curtain like a nervous old man before jumping back to display the mighty Oz. The woman will remember the truth of weakness over the presentation of strength.
What is a man to do in either situation? This is a person matter for each man. To be a man is to bear the responsibility of all things. And this means we must manage how others distrust our authority. A woman who marries a boy will have a hard time ever seeing a man. Brutal truth.
A man who shows deep weakness in a relationship gives good reason for a woman to distrust his authority. This woman will not fear testing the authority of this man. She will increase her shit testing and disrespect in growing loop of distrust.
The Wall Speaks book is about masculine frame, it teaches how to live with one woman. Frame is not about promiscuity.
Just as important as the frame itself is the consistency of the frame. What good is the curtain of mystery if it is only occasionally used or if we show ourselves stumbling to get behind it? It is the fault of a man to let this all happen.
What can a man do if he picks up frame in a relationship? Women crave to be fooled. The woman will still become more submissive and will increase her trust in the man’s authority, but he will not be able to escape the memory of weakness in the woman.
If a man loses frame in a relationship, he will have trained the woman to distrust him. It is the same for him. He will be tested more than by starting over with another woman. The woman will require stronger frame over her to reassure her.
At the end of The Wall Speaks, I wrote about submission therapy which is a form of hypnotic treatment for building trust in authority. The therapy itself should only be attempted at the end of a relationship as last attempt to fix.
Should a man leave a woman and start over? Many times, this is in the man’s best interest as he can start a new frame with another woman. This initial frame is much easier to manage than the confused frame from previous relationship.
This deeply personal. Remember, it is the man’s fault for the woman lacking respect and trust in his frame. A man might be willing to put up with training a woman because he was the one to confuse her with weak frame. Also, a man may want to preserve a family.
The key thing to remember is that frame can be picked up and strengthened. A man can always strengthen his own frame dependent on how strong his woman needs. Life is imperfect. Mistakes happen. We learn and we grow. No relationship will be perfect. Calculate work and risk.
Jerr Rrej is the author of The Wall Speaks.
The Wall Speaks is an easy to read guide on learning masculine frame.